130 days post transplant - what a year

Sorry for the delayed update on Chiara's progress but life has been pretty hectic.  After Chiara's last admission she was discharged home on the 22nd December 2011.  We were so excited to be getting her home for Christmas.  She still wasn't 100 percent herself but was certainly a lot better than what she had been.  Her story was to be published in the Glasgow Herald on Christmas Eve, Richard and I as her parents were so proud.

We were to return on Christmas eve to have her observations checked and her bloods checked.  As we sat anxiously waiting we just couldn't wait until we returned back home to prepare for Santa.  Our anxiety turned to fear as Chiara's FBC (full blood count) returned as showing she had platelets of only 2 and her Neutrafils had dropped to below 1.  Her Haemaglobin was also low and she was to receive a platelet transfusion and blood transfusion and also an infusion of GCSF to try and boost her Neutrafils.  My stomach heaved as I suddenly thought all our plans and hopes for our lovely family Christmas were just about to be shattered.  She received her GCSF and Platelets but her blood was going to take around 12 hours to be ready for transfusion so left later on Christmas eve afternoon and returned home. We would return on Boxing Day to receive her blood transfusion.

Christmas in the Petersen/Fox household on Christmas morning was magical and exciting as all 3 children scrambled round the living room opening presents.  It was a dream come true to be spending  Christmas morning together as a family in the comfort of our own home when only just over a week ago Chiara was connected to a ventilator. 

Boxing Day came and Chiara and I travelled through to hospital for 9am.  She had her routine FBC taken and again we waited on the result.  We already knew that she was to receive a blood transfusion but added to that she would again require another platelet transfusion as her platelets were only 2.  She would also require more GCSF as her Neutrafils today were 0.  This was just my worst nightmare, what was happening no one knew.  We would return on the 27th December 2010 for routine checks.

The 27th came and we attended for routine checks.  Her FBC came back as showing no Neutrafils and Platelets of 1.  Now we were faced with the news that we had always dreaded hearing, her new bone marrow graft was failing.  Chiara was admitted to hospital on 27th December and on 28th December was taken to theatre where she underwent bone marrow biopsy.  The knots and sickness I felt in the pit of my stomach I cant even begin to explain.  These feelings grew worse as I entered the Consultant's room to be told that there were very little cells available from her new marrow and was looking like she was going to be needed a 2nd transplant.  I went to pieces and sobbed like I've never sobbed for months.  All our hard work and effort and everything Chiara had gone through had been for nothing.  We were told there was always a chance that it was just a virus that had caused this and we would receive results on Friday.

On Thursday Chiara deteriorated and her breathing became hard work for her.  She was extremely irritable and agitated.  Not the girl we all knew.  It was heart breaking to watch.  Early hours of Friday morning Chiara was admitted into Intensive Care.  She underwent a CT scan for fear that she had developed a bleed on her brain due to the low platelets.  My stomach again heaved, how on earth could all this be happening.  She returned from the CT scan and we were told that after the CT scan they had aspirated her stomach and drew back about 20ml of blood, I wanted to turn and run away, my immediate thought was she had internal bleeding due to the low platelets.  However, her CT scan showed no abnormalities and the doctor didn't seem too concerned about the blood from the stomach.  It was possible that her irritability was caused from her Morphine withdrawal or simply due to her virus.  She had come back positive for Rhinovirus a 2nd time.  She was commenced yet again on Morphine and antibiotics.  Later Friday afternoon we had a meeting with her Consultants.  After discussions with other medical staff and transplant centres the general consensus was that it was possible that Chiara's marrow had been suppressed due to a virus or a drug.  It was also noted that she had developed antibodies in her blood and it could be possible that these were destroying her platelets, Neutrafils etc before they even reached her bone marrow.  This news albeit not great was better than the thought that she was losing her graft. 

Today (Saturday) Chiara was commenced on her new infusion to try and destroy the antibodies.  She seemed more content today than she has in days.  She remains in ITU on CPAP.  She will receive Platelet transfusions on a daily basis and blood transfusions as and when she requires it.  Her tiny body is covered in bruises and a blood pricked rash due to the low platelets. This is not how I imagined I would be spending the last night of 2011 or rather hoped I would not spending.  I head into 2012 with my 2 boys and Richard at home, myself in a hospital room and my daughter in Intensive Care.  What do I have to celebrate about 2011, absolutely nothing, my only hope is that 2012 is a better year for all of us. 

Happy New Year to all my friends, family and everyone who has followed Chiara's story.

A not so nice lead up to xmas (15.12.11)

Well today is Chiara's brother Joshua's 13th birthday.  Sadly yet again Chiara misses another family birthday as today she lies connected to a ventilator.

Last Thursday and Friday Chiara's blood counts had dropped to under one and we had the horrible feeling she was losing her graft as she appeared well and no signs of illness to account for these drops.  Later on the Friday afternoon she became grumpy and just generally not herself.  After a long battle with myself I decided later on that night to take her through to hospital.  She presented there well, no temperature and breathing normally.  On checking her oxygen saturation levels it appeared she was only 88%.  She was started on antibiotics and 1litre Oxygen.  She had a fairly unsettled night and by the morning she seemed to be getting a little worse.  On Saturday morning she had an xray.  We were informed later that this was awful and her lung had collapsed and she could possibly have Pneumocystic Pneumonia.  Once again I had that terrible feeling in my stomach and literally felt sick to my stomach.  What was to follow the next few days we did not know or rather not prepared for.

Sunday she was still lively but her Oxygen requirement had to be increased and she was started on more antibiotics.  Sunday afternoon seemed to change drastically so quickly.  She started working harder to breathe and her Oxygen requirement was being increased more and more.  Within half an hour she had deteriorated so much that she was completely Oxygen dependent.  She was then transferred from the Ward to Intensive Care.  She was tried on BIPAP for a few hours but she still had enough energy to climb all over the cot and sit up.  Her saturation levels were dropping slowly and not managing to increase.  We were told she required a blood transfusion also and this would hopefully maybe help he Oxygen levels.  The blood would be available around 1 or 2 in the morning.  Unfortunately by 2am Chiara had become so distressed that her Oxygen levels just dropped and dropped and I stood and watched them go down to 40 until I could not watch any longer and I left the room.  It was then I knew intubation would be taking place very shortly.  I sat for around an hour waiting and reliving all the feelings I had went through on that horrible night back in April when she was first ventilated.  Here I was 2 weeks before Christmas waiting for my wee girl to be connected back up to ventilator.  She was placed on an Oscillator which is a special ventilator that is kinder to her lungs.

On Wednesday Chiara was changed from the Oscillator to conventional ventilator as her blood gases etc were all good and her xray was improving and showing her lung was re inflating.  She was found positive for Rhinovirus which basically is just a common cold.  Through all this she still remains feisty and has managed to disconnect herself from the vent twice and is keeping medical staff on their toes as she tries to climb out of cot so she is nearly always kept heavily sedated and paralysed.  It once again is horrible to watch especially at this time of year but she is making progress.  I am only thankful that my gut instinct was right to bring her through to hospital even although she never appeared unwell.

Today we are hoping she will improve even more and hopefully be excubated very soon.

1st December 2011 (100 days)

Sorry folks for not updating before now but I have just been enjoying having Chiara home and gave us all a bit of time to forget she actually had Hurlers.  Today marks Chiara's 100 days post transplant.  This is a huge milestone for Chiara.  Getting through 100 days with minimal problems and no graft rejection is a huge acheivement.  Tonight we marked this occasion with a bottle of Champers.......to follow on the bottle we had when we brought her home from transplant in October........if we are going to be marking
every special milestone in her life then we are gonnae be needing a lot of Champers lol.  

Anyway after returning home in October Chiara has kept extremely well.  It has been an emotional rollercoaster for all of us.  I  am finding the constant travelling back and forth 2 to 3 times a week to Yorkhill very stressful.  I miss working terrible although I love spending loads of time with Chiara albeit she is extremely hard work.  On the 8th November we were given the fantastic news that Chiara's hearing levels had went from 80 down to 30/40 which is level of conversation so currently Chiara has no need to wear hearing aids.  As a family we know she can hear everything we are saying and she responds to all noise we make.  She is making great progress with her teacher and currently she is not developmentally behind schedule.  She crawls around like a normal child, she can pull herself up at furniture and walk around or walk around with her walker. 

Chiara still has no need for night time ventilation but on a recent visit to hospital she has another sleep study carried out which showed that her results weren't as good as the last.  A lot of Chiara's problems are being put down to the fact that she is carrying so much extra weight.  She has gained 20% of her body weight in 2 months.  Unfortunately this has been down to the steroids so currently she is on the her last reduction and hopefully when these are completely finished she will lose some weight and hopefully her breathing etc will return to normal.  It is not a huge problem but you can tell she gets out of breath quicker than normal because of the extra weight.

Chiara has also developed a lot of excessive body hair over her shoulder and back, this is a side effect of her Cyclosporin which is the drug to stop rejection so its a small price to pay although not nice to look at on your wee baby.  We have been told this will disappear once the drug is finished and hopefully this will be in a few months.

A few weeks ago Chiara was admitted to hospital due to her contracting what was thought to be hand, foot and mouth which put her off her food and fluid.  I myself didn't cope with this admission too well and went into complete melt down and Richard had to come and stay with her in the hospital.  My feelings at that time were that my whole life now was Chiara, my whole day was Chiara, my boys no longer had a mother with them since Chiara was born, my thoughts were that the boys gained a sister and lost a mother. I know Chiara didn't ask to be born the way she was but sometimes the pressure and strain can just get so much that you forget who you actually are.  Most of my days are spent travelling to and from appointments and the rest of my family are left to bring themselves up.  I hate the thought that one day I will wake up and my boys will be all grown up and I will have missed out on all those years of their lives.  I know many of you reading this wont understand what it is like and possibly even think I am selfish for thinking feeling like this but having a child with disabilities no matter how small or how huge the pressure and strain it puts on a family is immense.  I am now in the process of getting shared care hopefully for Chiara with a closer hospital and she is having home visits to have her bloods checked so slowly we are returning to a normal family life and my hope is that next year I will be able to obtain some work. 

We have been through so many highs and lows this year that I now look forward to Christmas with my family and hope that next year is a better year for all of us.

Chiara has her spinal appointment in January when we will probably be told when she will receive her spinal correction.  Hopefully the last surgery for a while.

On Saturday I am attending a charity disco, the proceeds of which are being donated to Hurlers.  I am so grateful to everyone who has shown support to Chiara and the MPS society.

We were asked to be included in a television programme to be aired in December regarding Chiara's story but unfortunately in the last week we have been told that she is no longer going to be appearing.  I have just finished writing an article about Chiara's story which will appear in the next issue of the MPS magazine so hopefully this will bring hope and smiles to a lot of peoples faces.

Merry Christmas everyone x